Thursday, June 19, 2014

Healing, Loving, Giving Grace

Empowered to Connect is a go-to source of so many excellent resources for adoptive parents.  If you’ve never taken the time to browse around on their website, please invest at least 30 minutes there.  You’ll be encouraged and challenged with parenting tools and ideas for helping children from hard places attach, bond, connect and heal.

Today we’re featuring a few articles recently posted there.



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Band-Aids Heal More Than You Can See
by Kayla North

Giving and receiving love may seem like an easy thing, but for many adopted and foster kids it is hard. They have given love to people only to have those people disappear from their lives or not return their love. They have received love only to be moved to a new home, or the “love” they received was not love at all.
These kids are confused about what it means to give and receive love.
Many of them are indiscriminately friendly with adults and other kids. While on the surface it seems that they are so affectionate and loving, as a mom it is scary to watch. They don’t understand appropriate interaction with others and must be both shown and taught how to appropriately give and receive love. We talk often about personal space and when and how it is appropriate to give hugs and kisses.

Continue reading here



This is Mercy
by Becky Metcalfe

He knew he had been pushing my buttons all day, and as he lowered the blankets he must have sensed the coming storm. But as he stared at the end of my accusing finger, (yes, the very same finger that I was taught by Dr. Purvis to point up, but never at my child), and as he observed the scowl on my face… something in his eyes flickered.

In that moment I saw a reflection of myself in him. Something in his eyes that I can’t even completely identify stopped me cold in my tracks. Was it fear…shame…guilt…insecurity? His eyes were displaying what I feel all too often.

Continue reading here



Don’t Embarrass Me
by Colleen Derksen

…I wonder whether I will be able to un-learn those instincts that would shush her and point out her errors in front of other people. It’s something I struggle with, these feelings of embarrassment that drive me to respond in less than desirable ways. Whether it’s a meltdown in the grocery store, a display of defiance at church, or a poorly timed observation, I too often find myself thinking about what other people are thinking instead of what my children need.

Continue reading here


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