Time in Nekemte

from Joy Casey
written on Tuesday, Feb. 14

     

We loaded up orphanage supplies and formula and headed west in our 4WD vehicle. The road from Addis to Nekemte is a long rough one with most of it under construction. The dust was unlike any I have ever experienced before. There were times when a truck would pass us where our car was in a dense cloud of red dust and we would have to wait for it to dissipate before we could go on.





Upon arrival in Nekemte we were glad to put our feet on solid ground, change our clothes and wash the accumulated layers of dust off. Someday soon that road will be a piece of cake, but right now traversing it is an adventure!


Right after breakfast Tuesday morning, Jeff and I headed to the orphanage. It was so nice to see the dear faces of our social worker, project coordinator and the nannies and they were delighted to get the needed supplies and formula.
 

 
I was made welcome by one of the more outgoing 2-year-olds who immediately took to me because I gave her a chewable vitamin and a dolly (bribing is okay in my book!) while the 2-year-old boy refused the vitamin and hid behind the nanny. He didn’t start interacting until a soccer ball was brought out; only then did he show us his “moves” by bouncing the ball and kicking it. He is quite coordinated! It is fascinating to observe the differences in personalities and to wonder what each future holds. The other sweet children toddled or crawled around and Jeff got new pictures of everyone as well as video. I introduced two children to their new adoptive families and gave them the gifts their families sent.
 
It is a gorgeous, warm day here in Nekemte and I am loving the weather! This afternoon we are going to drive to some other parts of the town that we haven’t seen much of so Jeff can get some good pictures and video to give to the families who adopt children from here. YWAM makes a life book for each child adopted from one of the Widows and Orphans Homes, and a CD of all their pictures and a DVD of all videos taken of them over the months is included. We also want to include a DVD of what the town and orphanage looks like.
 

 

 
Tomorrow morning we leave for Gimbie, a town two hours away. Fortunately, that road is a good one and will be a pleasant drive.
 
Ciao for now!
 
From Becky:  I want to let our YWAM families know that the photos they send with Joy to share with birth families mean so very much and the project coordinators, social workers and nannies absolutely LOVE seeing these pictures of the children. A wonderful bonus is that these pictures are also hugely influential in our adoption work. When government officials come to the orphanage, they are shown where the children are and how they are doing. The project coordinator has told us that this shines a very favorable light on adoption and is a huge help in the orphanages’ work in every town we work in. We would appreciate it if even those families whose children have no birth family would make a book of pictures (as some have already done) for the orphanage staff, Joy would be happy to deliver them next time she goes to Ethiopia.
.
.

Adoption Book Report

I read a book this last weekend that I can highly recommend to anyone who has adopted, is in the process of adopting or who is considering adoption.  It’s called “Love You More – The Divine Surprise of Adopting My Daughter” and is written by Jennifer Grant. 



Jennifer is an excellent writer who shares her story of adopting her daughter from Guatemala with transparency and detail – all with a heart to help others who share this wonderful and sometimes difficult journey.  I hope that by sharing some quotes, you’ll be motivated to get the book and appreciate its insights as much as I did.  Jennifer covers so many aspects of and questions about the adoption process.  Here are a few quotes from the book to whet your appetite…

On Divine providence:
“I believe God nudges us toward the people with whom we’re meant to share our lives.  And, sometimes, I think God uses adoption to rip away the curtain that keeps us blind to poverty and suffering.  In finding our children and falling in love with a country far from home, many adoptive parents find a calling to change their lives and serve those whom they have met there.”

On claiming your child as your own:
“When you give birth to or adopt a child, you are in for the long haul.  You must commit to sleepless nights, vulnerability like you’ve never known, and moments when you can’t even wrap your mind around how much you adore your child.  There will also be times when your child’s selfishness makes you think, Who is this nasty little person? and, even worse, times when you can’t believe how brittle and small your own heart is.  But because you know you were meant to be together, you wade through the hard times and know that the good ones await you.  You ask for help.  You admit your faults.  You stop, breathe deeply and count to ten.  And you know that whether the weather is stormy or fair, you are your child’s true parent.”

On the difficult times of waiting:
“Agencies warn you: the adoption process is unpredictable.  Regardless of how diligent they are, agencies are not in control.  Schedules can slip.  Documentation can get lost.  Birthmothers can change their minds.  Foreign governments can close their programs, change their fees or halt all adoptions for indeterminate periods… I had days when I was at peace, certain that our baby would come home when she was meant to be with us.  But more often, I struggled with the wait… Please, please God.  Take care of her until I can do it myself.  Please… Having a child – whether by birth or adoption – is a risk.  No parent is guaranteed an easy time or a child who is healthy or gifted or easy to parent.  There are moments when accepting that lack of control makes being a parent easier – and times when it doesn’t.  But for some adoptive parents, Tom Petty’s line about the waiting being "’the hardest part’ might be true.”

On that adjustment period:
“Why was this happening?  Why couldn’t my three-year-old just use her words and clearly explain the various ways her sister’s homecoming had affected her?  Why couldn’t Mia see that I really really needed her to buck up and get with the system?  No more contrariness.  No more of this possessive behavior.  No throwing food off the high chair.  No screaming in her crib.  In retrospect, what they were going through could not have been more normal.  But at the time, it felt like the end of the world.”

On post-adoption blues:
“On the bright side, all four children seemed to be transitioning well… It was me who, increasingly, didn’t know which end was up…What had I done?  What had become of that confident mom who always knew how to handle her children?  Was I both a bad person and a bad mother?”

On bonding and attachment:
“It took more than months to build complete trust; it took years.  It would be three or four years after her homecoming before Mia awarded me with the same easy trust that I receive from my other children.” 

Jennifer also writes about the ethics and questions surrounding international adoption, about being a transracial family, about how she has shared her daughter’s adoption story with her and with others.

I think you will love this book!

*A happy surprise for me was to find out – in the pages of the book - that some of Jennifer’s dearest friends are a YWAM adoptive family!  Mark and Mary Lewis have adopted four girls from China and are now getting ready to bring home their daughter Sena from Ethiopia.  Their Ethiopian adoption journey has been incredibly difficult and I have so much respect for how they have walked this long, hard road with faith and hope.

.

From Joy in Addis Ababa

Addis Ababa is lovely this time of the year! The mornings and evenings are cool and the days in the 70s. Sunshine greets me every morning. I am used to waking up early and having my quiet time in the Word and prayer. The steeple of the Catholic Church is framed by my window and I delight in watching the morning wake up with the cross emerging as the sky turns light pink until it is silhouetted against the blue of a new day. Jeff Burns is traveling with me, and we enjoy our time together over coffee, tea and breakfast with the sun flooding the room. How can you possibly have a bad day with such beginnings?

 

Catholic Guest House

We arrived in Addis in the morning and hit the ground running, mainly because we had to keep moving so we wouldn't fall asleep! It might be 9:30 a.m. in Ethiopia, but it was bedtime back home. We met with the contractor that has been selected to begin construction on a worship center in a village where God has moved mightily and there are many new believers. For the past several years, the church has been meeting under a tree that we affectionately call the "worship tree". Through a benefactor and the sacrifice of a small church in Idaho, enough money has been made available to start construction. In a couple of weeks I will be going to that village and will report (with pictures) the beginnings of a permanent place of worship for that area. We also made arrangements for a 4-wheel drive vehicle to take us to the orphanages in the western part of Ethiopia. The roads are so bad that only a 4-wheel drive can navigate them. We plan on leaving tomorrow (Monday).

Girum and Joy

Friday, Jeff and I had a wonderful time meeting and getting acquainted with the new YWAM director for Ethiopia. Girum is a solid man of God and it was rewarding to get to know him. I will be meeting my other YWAM friends when I get back from my upcoming trip to Nekemte, Gimbie and Dembidollo.

 

Kathy, Joy and Tezera

Yesterday, Jeff and I, along with a social worker from Spokane, Washington named Anne and Kathy from Children's House International (the adoption agency who processes adoptions for children in our orphanages), trekked to Adama to visit the widows and children in the Widows and Orphans Home.

 

Jeff!

Jeff had a great time behind his camera trying to make shy little ones smile, bringing suckers to the widows (they love "caramel") and helping to unload donated formula. The orphanage director, Kathy, and I had work to discuss, but we took time out to have fun with the babies and to kiss the weathered cheeks of the grandmothers (widows).

 

 

Some of our wonderful nannies in Adama

I brought pictures and a few small gifts to several of the children from parents in the U.S. who are on process to adopt them. That is always a great joy for me, and it is such fun to see the nannies ooooh and ahhhh over the pictures of the family that will be for one of their precious charges. I have seen how hard it is for these dedicated nannies to say good bye to children they have raised since infancy, and yet they have the foresight to rejoice when a child gets their very own family to love them forever. 

 

 

 

 
Today is preparation for leaving early in the morning for Nekemte. Even with the rough roads and lack of amenities, I enjoy getting out of the city and seeing the "real" Africa. Right now, the bougainvillea is a riot of color everywhere and the days are sunny and warm. I get a glimpse into the agrarian lifestyle of the country folk.... young boys herding cows, women washing clothes in a muddy stream, oxen pulling a blade through the soil, women gathering firewood and half-naked children enthusiastically waving at the "ferengi" as we pass by. I will be taking supplies to the orphanages as well as gifts and pictures to many of the children.
 

 
I am hopeful to meet several birth parents of children already adopted and in America. Their grateful parents have sent lovely pictures to their child's Ethiopia mom or dad, and what joy and peace a happy picture can bring to a birth parent longing to know how their child has adjusted. Jeff will be taking "millions" of pictures and video of the children. What a blessing he is to our program and to me personally as well. Jeff is a man of God, unassuming, always good-natured, and a friend I can count on through thick and thin.
 
I am always aware as I travel this beautiful country that I am kissing babies and talking to social workers in proxy for the many families who are waiting for their children. I am also mindful of the faithful ministry partners who sacrifice to make Adoption Ministry's work in Ethiopia vibrant and fruitful. My heart overflows with affection and thankfulness!
.
.

ONE Ordinary Mom

Lisa Boyl-Davis is a wife, a mom, an emergency room social worker, a musician and a prayer warrior.  She’s been married to her husband Ted for 22 years and they have four kids, ranging in age from 18 down to 2.  Lisa has never adopted but through a set of circumstances only God could have arranged, Lisa has been raising funds to support YWAM’s orphanages in Ethiopia. 



“As a little girl, my sister and I didn’t play house, we played adoption agency!  We would line up our dollies and stuffed animals on the bed, I would take little scraps of paper, and fill out one “form” after another when Marcy (my little sister) came in to adopt this baby and that.  I smile now when I think of it, seeing how God has allowed me to help pass on my passion, and raise some money for some of the 6 million orphans in Ethiopia. 


I find it amazing how God has driven me crazy with a desire to help raise money to feed babies and children and to help the rest of the world understand the problem from a the place of the heart and not just the mind.  In saying this, God knows I have little-to-no organizational skills, yet he has surrounded me with people who are filling in those gaps.  He is using a heart even when the skills don’t match up.”

Lisa is such an awesome example of the power of one…

• one busy wife and mother
  
• one person who loves to pray
  
• one person who likes to problem-solve
  
• one person who enjoys helping people do what they love to do (sewing, singing, dancing, art, writing, photography, running, walking, biking, etc…) to help meet the needs of others

She began her fund-raising for our orphanage food budget with a Christmas Alternative Craft Fair in 2011 and proceeds were donated to Adoption Ministry of YWAM Ethiopia.  In March, she’s organizing a Concert for the Value of Human Life where a love offering will be taken for YWAM’s orphanage support.  There is a Hoedown planned for May with a Western band playing in a grange hall.  Also in the spring will be a school fund-raiser where kids will get involved.  She even has a Triathlon in the works!

God has honored her willingness and her availability to be used!

Thank you Lisa for responding to God’s urging and for your generous and diligent heart of compassion for orphaned children in Ethiopia!
.

All their bags are packed

…they’re ready to go!  Joy Casey and Jeff Burns are leaving tomorrow for a three week trip to Ethiopia. 



They’ll be traveling to all four Widows & Orphans Homes as well as to several villages where we do humanitarian work.  Joy will be interviewing many new families who qualify for sponsorship in our “Adopt A Family” program for Adoption Ministry 1:27. 



While internet connections are often spotty, I hope to get updates and post them here on the blog. 

Would you be praying for this trip?  The spiritual battle seems to rage whenever we go there (as it does at all times surrounding God’s work) and we covet the prayers of those who will stand with us.  Pray for physical health and strength for Joy, Jeff and all of our staff, for safe travels and for God’s favor and wisdom in every decision and every encounter.

Stay tuned!
.

Good Links

Compassion Is The Answer.  What’s The Question?
@Empowered to Connect
As I read through the pages of scripture there is no escaping the abounding and relentless compassion of God. I am loved by a forgiving and gracious God that is slow to anger, abounding in love and compassion. So too must my parenting be informed, motivated, infused and overflowing with this same kind of compassion.

Your Child’s Adoption Life Story
@icareaboutorphans.org
Experts cite four compelling reasons why children need to know their adoption story and provide tools for telling a child their story, not as a one-time event but an on-going process.

Enjoying This Adventure Called Life
@Show Hope Blog
We started our journey to adopt from Ethiopia in 2009. I can’t say that we were prepared for all the obstacles we would face. Or, the wait…oh, the wait! However, what we learned about our family and ourselves during that time is irreplaceable.

Adjusting to Life After Adoption
@Focus On The Family
The first challenge was surviving the process…  The good news is the adoption process came to an end.  The second challenge has proven to be our greatest challenge: raising a multi-cultural (or transcultural or transracial) family.

Both Ends Burning
@BothEndsBurning.org
We exist to create a culture of adoption and to help facilitate changes in the current system. Adoption can serve as a champion for human potential, and as a responsible society we should be encouraging and promoting the practice of adoption.

And finally, one adoptive dad's assessment of our government's stance on international adoption
@The Carroll Story blog 

.

Berbere!

by Liane Wolbert
Liane is the Director of YWAM's domestic adoption program - Adoption Ministry of YWAM. She also does homestudies for our local families adopting from Ethiopia. Liane, with her husband Mark, has led several mission teams to Ethiopia for YWAM's many outreaches there.  

Berbere-The spice of comfort for Ethiopians
After spending extended periods of time in Ethiopia, we come home with the scent of berbere exuding from our pores and the tips of our fingers. We don't mind - we like it!

When ordering food in a resturant we have the choice of a Western menu or Traditional food. We always have Awaze with whatever choice we make. Awaze is berbere that is mixed with oil and lime and served in a little dish for dipping bread while you wait for the rest of your meal. Awaze takes the place of butter.  Berbere is mixed with scrambled eggs in the morning and with rice.  I really can't think of anything cooked in Ethiopia where it cannot be used (except injera). I have even been offered fruit that was cut up on a platter with berbere sprinkled on the top. It really was tasty!

Many of my adoptive families make sure to visit the spice store to purchase spices and lentil powder before they come home with their children. When visiting homes to complete post-placement reports, I am often told stories about Ethiopian children putting berbere on everything. One family reported that their child put berbere on pizza and spaghetti. After a while they had him try one bite without berbere before eating the rest with a heavy portion of the delicious and comforting blend of spices.

Last weekend Mark and I were visiting the home of good friends who have Ethiopian adopted children and the older girl who loves to cook prepared a traditional Ethiopian breakfast. Our eggs, rice and vegetables were infused with a 'ferengi' portion of berbere. She even prepared the coffee from the clay coffee pot that her parents purchased in Ethiopia. When we were cleaning the kitchen after eating, she snapped the lid of the tupperware container holding two pounds of berbere and placed it in the cupboard next to the sea salt and pepper!

I was chatting with one of our adoptive moms just last week on FB about how her daughter was adjusting, having been in the States just 24 hours.  With jet-lag, brain overload and everything new she was feeling very sad.  Her mama's heart was aching for her, wanting to take away the pain but she knew she could not. Well, it looks as though this mommy was able to comfort her girl in a way that, for that moment, brought some needed relief:

Here's  a short video clip about this wonderful Ethiopian spice: